Coronavirus,  COVID-19,  Faith,  Grief,  Health,  Pandemic

Fear Rising

Date: March 20, 2020

COVID-19 Cases
US: 14145 New: 4969 Deaths: 206 New: 52
Texas: 325 New: 125 Deaths: 5 New: 2

Yesterday I lost my bearings. I’m trying to give myself grace, but honestly, I’m disappointed that I’m not doing better than I am. We’re only about a week into this social distancing thing, and I’m already starting to lose it. I miss my older kids. I miss my grandchildren. I miss how carefree life used to be, even though it really wasn’t. I miss my aunt.

In January, I spent most of the month in Salt Lake with my aunt, and then we moved her here, and I’ve seen her almost every day since….. until last week. I saw her on Saturday, so it’s been almost a week and already I just miss hanging out with her. I miss cheering her up, and her encouraging me. I miss laughing with her. Last night I got the email I knew was coming that they’re locking up the Apartment complex where she lives to protect the residents. No visitors, and they’re eating all of their meals in their apartments. The thought of her having to stay in her apartment all day and night is breaking my heart. She’s being so brave, and continuing to encourage me.

The truth is, I’m so scared. I’m scared that Auston will come in contact with a patient. I’m scared Michael will. I’m scared Gregory will get sick in Waco and I won’t be able to help him. I’m scared that any of us will get sick.

I know we’re not supposed to live in fear, “For God has not given us a Spirit of Fear, but of power and love and self-control”. 2 Tim 1:7, but I’m struggling right now. I had a very close friend reach out to me last night and tell me she’s worried about me. I am too. I’ve got to get myself together.

I am a Certified Lifestyle Coach with Trim Healthy Mama- and help moms focus on their health and they health of their families! I help moms tackle overwhelm and encourage them to start loving their life again! I'm Momma to 6, Grandma to 1, and wife to my favorite police officer for over 23 years ;) Together we live life and share the good the bad and the ugly with God as our compass :)

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